she hates the man she loves

all night i sat and watched
as she stared, spat and sneered
squeezing her increasingly swelling belly
wishing he was there
not wishing that he did a thing
just being there; but he wasn't

she crawled, wailed and wallowed in pain
and all i did was sit and watch
wishing i could press her sore tummy
but i could not; i just couldn't
for she said he should

he is the man that she loves
the father of the child
the child swelling in her belly
the child whose father she loves
but really feels she hates
yes, my other me is in love
in love witha man she hates

South Africa After Thabo Mbeki: A Lesson for Africa

I was reading an essay question set for third year students in the Discipline of International Relations a few days ago and I was amazed at how much I couldn't fit in the question in "U.S Foreign Policy" for which it was meant (by one Larry Benjamin) without thinking of Africa.I am certain that in a series of events in global politics, Barrack Obama, Joe Biden, the Clintons, John McCain, Sarah Palin and whoever else has been in the platform of U.S politics have taken the interest of the world (represented by the (melo)drama of the media). In several months, today the world gives US politic(ian)s a break and we can now all turn our eyes towards the South of Africa. This is South Africa; a country in which the discourses of politics have been changing drastically (and scaringly so) since Polokwane. I lost it I guess; you see that is why I prefer writing poetry and chopped prose because I have a fragmented mind. Ooops ! This post was not about me but do you really think anyone would employ me as a journalist if this is how I wrote? By the way, IF( I aint sure I will ever do at the rate at which idiocy is catching up with me)I grow up I still insist I wanna be a journalist.

Sorry, I am sure I lost you but please dont stop reading because i just remembered what the US Foreign Policy question I wanted to talk about was (that was long before I became self-indulgent-though I am sure you are not surprised): "Do great leaders cause great crises or do great crises call for great leaders?". I know, like me, you are possibly thinking of your own president (and the lucky(?) ones like Swazis and our bothers and sisters from Lesotho your kings)instead of thinking of US presidents like William 'Bill' Clinton, Reagan, the two BUSHES and others. It is understandable...This is Africa. It is amazing how introspective we become in the wake of unusual events in the world of politics.

Last night, the President (is it still correct to use the title?) of Africa's America; the Republic of South Africa made a public announcement on the State owned media corporation, SABC on his resignation. You know, I am not a sweetheart of Mbeki (that doesnt make me his critic, or does it?) but I cried. I can see you asking What I have to lose anyway whether South Africa is ruled by the ANC hawks or doves (did u watch Vuyo and Gwede on SABC2 Morning Live today?). Look here, I aint sure you wanna know what was going on in my mind as I watched Mbeki tell the world (and I quote):


"I have been a loyal member of the African National Congress for 52 years. I remain a member of the ANC and therefore respect its decisions. It is for this reason that I've taken the decision to resign as president of the republic,".

Where else in Africa has this ever happened? Where else in Africa is the president answerable to anyone? You see, no matter what Mbeki has done to South Africa, JZ, ANC and whoever else, the statememnt above, redeemed him. What a dignified man!! Speaking of how introspective we become in times like these, I couldnt help thinking of African political giants forcing themselves down people's throats! Mwai Kibaki, Uncle Bob Mugabe (by the way I admire his wits and black humour), Girma Woldegiorgis and others yet they are not fireable despite the fact that they have not achieved a quarter of what Comrade Mbeki has in 9 years!!

Personally I do not know how to react to Mbeki's exit. All I have are questions about the state of democracy in this Southern African country and the whole of Africa by extension. Could it be 'true' (matters of truth are so scary sometimes)that perhaps the ANC's NEC's firing of Mbeki was not done with the interest of South Africans at heart but the settling of internal party wraggles...At least this is what the president of Independent Democrats one Patricia de Lille thinks. Is it that Mbeki was a great leader who was only unfortunate to rule in a time of great crises or did he cause the great crises? So, without Mbeki who will be blamed on the fact that my water taps were dry this morning? Could it be that South Africa expected too much from Mbeki? Perhaps, the ANC is just going through mid-life crisis and it is high time it stopped being a movement and became a political party! Who will be blamed on ESCOM, AIDS, poverty, Crime and all the challenges that South Africans have always blamed on Mbeki? Where else shall we vent our angst, anger and frustration once Mbeki is gone? What else will eTv's Justice Malala analyse?

Fare thee well, ntate Mbeki but one thing that bothers me right now is how much the political party structures in the rest of Africa would save the continent if they were strong and had as much power as the ANC! Nkosi sikelel'iAfrica

By the way, this was meant to be a poem!! Lol!!!

the guilt of innocence

once upon a time
a father was just that
a brother was a brother
an uncle; an idol
yes, a shamba boy; a playmate
but now? monsters; ogres

those eyes
those little blank eyes
that only knew care
that only knew trust
that only knew love
all these' no longer know

those eyes
those little blank eyes
now know fear
now know mistrust
only know hate
yes, the new ways of the world

those eyes
those lttle blank eyes
those eyes of innocence
those eyes that knew guilt
robbed of their innocence
robbed of their blankness

those eyes
eyes once blank
eyes once innocent now see everything
now know guilt
those little blank eyes

i am tired
yes, very tired
tired of singing
tired of crying
tired of speaking
of those little blank eyes

i am tired
yes, very tired
but just can't cease
i can't just stop
singing, crying and speaking
of those little blank eyes

let us return
let us return to the olden days
yes, once upon a time

then shall we rejoice
then shall we sing
of joy, peace and innocence
of those eyes
those little blank eyes
that once knew nothing

i am a part-time white

suppose you were treated as kindly?
suppose you never felt out of place?
tell me how you would feel

tell me how you would feel
if people greeted you with a smile
how would you feel deep within you
if children wanted to touch you
how would you feel tell me
if anytime you talked someone mimicked your accent
how would you feel i wanna know
if robbers and muggers gave you special-client-treatment

tell me you wouldn't feel white
and there goes a liar
sometimes i just feel the way you do
this white woman trapped in a black body
it is the pain that i feel that scares me
for you so hate me for being black
it is the fear of pain that i fear
and a part time white i have become
though my skin betrays my insides

neighbourliness

the best of my mother's teachings
is all about good neighbourliness
she taught me how to be a good neighbour
if my neighbour does not have salt
and i have some my mother said i should give it to him
if my neighbour does not have money
and i have some i should lend it to him
if my neighbour borrows my car
and i am not using it i should give it to him
if my neighbour goes for a long journey
and leaves behind his family i should take care of them
my mother taught me to love my neighbour
to love him
to love his wife
to love his children
and to love his animals


so if my neighbour is out of town
and his wife is in need of something
something she surely has not
and that i readiy have
i should give it to her
because i love my neighbour's wife
because that is good neighbourliness
this one time she comes
in need, real need of help
she asks me for a night
should i refuse?
but i am a good neighbour
i give her a good night
because
that is good neighbourliness
and i promised to be a good neighbour


good neighbourliness has no bounds
unless my mother forgot that bit
i love jesus
for my mother loves him and i love my mother
i must be a good neighbour
i should love my neighbour
i did my share
of being a good neighbour
i helped his wife
because i love her
so, if his daughters come to me
i shall help them too
because i love them
and if his househelp comes to me
i shall help her too
because i love her
i love my neighbour
i love his wife
i love his maid
for that is good neighbourliness

should i write a poem?

should i write you a poem?
no no i wont write any poem
for i know not one
or even what it should be
for only poets write poems
and i aint a poet.